walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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