either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
