She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
