I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
ok first of all what the fuck
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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