Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
