I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
