Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
