I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
