Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
