TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
