Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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