Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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