i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
