I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
