i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
