Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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