its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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