No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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