Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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