I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think your dad took our porno
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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