I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
