I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
