the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
