The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize