I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
