Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
