if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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