I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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