I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
