I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
