Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
we should paint friendship bongs
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
