Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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