i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
