I want to walk on stilts...naked
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
