You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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