My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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