I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
