so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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