need another drink. this is the easiest way
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
