if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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