Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The air taste purple.
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