I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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