remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
