He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
