Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
