So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
