you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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