I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
