It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
