you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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