She is in my trunk
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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